This Lonely Mile

For all the people who are
Loving life, screw you.
Try on a new pair of shoes
I would give you mine but
They only come in one size.

Your body is your temple
But mine is a ruin, a wasteland
Of shattered glass and broken
Dreams, please God I’ll do
Anything, I guess he doesn’t

Hear the phone ring, defeat
The common entity of the
Voicemails I leave, I’ll be
Seeing you presently, cause
The only present I could ever

Want is the past and all I have
To do is ask for socks or a new
Iphone because empty can’t be
Filled by will alone, these material
Things, these objects you bring and

Lay on my bed as if it fills up my
Heart but my head is ruler now,
Chains around my ankles so I don’t
Touch a cloud and burn my hand,
A reprimand from my brain to my

Soul, all this time alone has brought
On a new friendship and an agreement
Resounds to sink this sink ship, the
Only problem being skin and flesh and
Bone, the only problem being family and

Friends and home, the only problem being
Pain and blood and white hospitals with
Machines and stitches, modern day witches
To sow me back together again,
When all I want is to tumble to

Pieces, and smother the breath
From these lungs, I am tired,
I am done with these games,
Of pain and gain and pain the
Cycle never-ending, each day

The same as the last, so don’t
Ask when you find the shell of
My Self, just put on my shoes
And walk the story they tell.

Broken Tethers

Quiet rains, the only interaction between
Us, as the droplets splash the floorboards,
They drown our words, swallow them and
Tape your lips shut, save your voice for a

Better time, a story plays behind the lens,
Silhouettes dancing through thunderstorms,
Electricity sparking in our veins, dampened
By the ever growing silence, stretching patience

Thin like calf vellum, write your woes in ink, hands
Shaking, the flood by our ankles is bleeding black,
Filling this disheveled room with harsh truths,
Reliving even harsher realities, nothing could be

More wrong than this, I restrain myself from grabbing
Your wrist and preventing the hurtful scripts from
Unfolding, iris’s bold, speckled brown and furrowed
Brow, you paint red chewing your lip, your conscience

Slips and fingers interlock with mine, whispering
Apology’s through tightened grip, my mask slips
You didn’t want this and move to withdraw, a second
Of panic, ashamed we saw this moment of weakness

In each other, I smother it down and wait for my turn
To spell out my thoughts, but your hold never leaves mine,
Grounding each of us to this moment in time, we survived
These trials, the longer we linger the fuller this ocean grows

Bowed heads in mutual prays as the words saw the tether
Between us, holds tighten as the waves of pain take us under
You transfer the page and look in my mind, searing memories
Rush to the surface, neither deserve this but still I persist, under

Your watchful eyes, I avert mine in fear I’ll drop the pen and
That will be the end of everything, for now, we save the
Memories for an older day, suddenly, you break away
And the dam bursts, I don’t know what hurts more, the
Excitement for freedom or the stranger staring back at me.

Ritual Sacrifice

Abducted to a foreign place we face
Strangers with war paint, smearing
Lines across our bodies, and chanting
In different tongues, illuminated under

Firelight, magic’s bright and fireflies buzz
Contently, this animosity is normal here
Herded like startled deer we scurry forth
Surrounded by staffs and rituals, the

Habitual hunting season has begun,
And we run under the cover of the waning
Moon, soon it will be over, these crusades
Through the dark, accompanied by the

Sound of violins, beasts at our heels howling
Our sins through the whistling wind, I can’t
Bring myself to look back, bowstrings twang
And fangs grip at our ankles, heavy thuds of

Prey going down, twigs crown my head and
Thorns distort my vision, I think weakly I can
Win this and decisions to turn left instead of
Right only grant more urgency to this plight,

Fight against the trees trying to squeeze the
Life out of me, suddenly a piercing pain, blood
Draining from my veins, trickling down to bare
Feet, I stumble, but not yet am defeated, soil

Under fingernails, countless bodies, countless
Failures to escape, these people behave like apes
As the arrows fly, narrowly missing my only good
Leg, I debate going back but it’s too late to abandon

Hope, the silhouettes before me slowly grow smaller
And I realise that they will leave me to my demise if
It means that they will survive this atrocity, fear in
My eyes blinding me, events unfolding irregularly,

Cracking bones and broken knees, I collapse and am
Devoured by the past, I ask for mercy but none is shown
Instead I crumple and fold and everything changes, my
Limbs reattach and I feel the ages drop and sink to the

Ground, instead of two legs, four are found and between
My cheeks lies a snout spouting profanities at those who
Run and it dawns on me how their chase has begun.

Double Vision

We come from different worlds
Mine of words and meaning
Morphing letters into reasons
And yours of sound and surety
That the beat will simply be a beat
And often you ask me, why

Can’t things be explained simply
And that is a question I often ponder
Over, why is it that we as creators cover
Our explanations with layers of wrapping,
Instead of sticking to the single sheet,
The beats, you explain, simple are, and

Often we listen to the vibrations of guitars
But I do not understand the mystery land
You transport to, just as you do not keep
Up with flourished pen ink and standing on
The brink of sanity, conversations between
Us flow easily and often we discuss the universe,

Its vastness and cast this shadow over the Earth
In the shape of two very obscure individuals,
Yet we both hold vigils when the other experiences
Grief, weeks have gone by and time flies when
Pondering the uniqueness of clocks, you ask when
Am I going to go outside and the metronome tocks

In its own way, you share your talent privately among
Fellow enthusiasts, I keep my cards close to my chest
In fear of copycat thieves, your art is in its very belief
Designed to be shared, and while I reveal my writings
I take care who sees them first, always adverse to having
These children taken away, another thing you find very

Strange, how I assume my parenthood over something
Not biologically mine, but you see the importance, the vines
That flow from my creative garden, pardon me for planting
Flowers in your space, you face reality boldly with drumsticks
And chewing gum, I hide away, narrowly escaping mental guns
Firing inside my head, you seldom dream when you go to bed,

And we, like philosophers, discuss philosophically, the very
Nature of existence and I plead for you to read a line or two
To break down barriers between our worlds, just as you
Request I google the best alternative bands and force my
Hand towards the computer screen, a test we both fail
Miserably, and at the end of the day that’s the way it is

And neither of us had anything to win from diving into
The opposites world, though I listen quite often and
Imagine the curls of penmanship as the letters fly in the air
Just as you trace quotes with the utmost care, and we
Pretend not to see the other appreciate these great moments                                                          and let the other simply own it

Mirage

I lost track of the time when
You ran into my line of vision
Like a stop clock demon just
Out of prison and a little

Later we would laugh I was
Smitten with your disguise,
But I was smitten with your
Ability to see through mine

I lost track of logic too, swept
Up in the essence of you, I could
Sit for days and listen to the news
That spewed from numerous coffees

On the way to the shop, never once
Did I ask you to stop, your imagination
Confounded me, to the point you’d
Have to remind me to breathe, that

I was still in my reality, but I think I
Crossed threshold to yours a long
Time ago, slowly I began to notice
Little things, how your gaze would

Linger over wedding rings and how
Our laughter became synchronized,
How invitations were dotted with
I’s and love and you, you were never

Afraid to speak the truth and while
Others tried to invade our land you
Fought them off with grand gestures
Of magic and sword play, made me

A queen when I felt so ordinary,
We were pirates abandoning sinking
Ships, having fits of happiness like
Doses of drugs, doped up on rightfulness

And love, and I became an addict just
As you did too, and separation felt like
The glue had broken apart, like you had
Stolen half of my heart and hid it in a

Treasure chest, you became the best
Part of me, and the worst, because
You were the first person to sweep
Me off my feet, spin me in circles and

Defeat the sadness growing inside,
What I didn’t see was how you slowly
Died, giving me adventures of a lifetime,
While you hid me from the burdens of

The world, showered me with pearls of
Wisdom and endless inspiring quotes
And when the sink finally sunk, I took
The boat to the shore and waited for

You to return, not realising you were
Weighed down in the burning wreckage
Smoke curling into a message urging me
To keep the box of make believe because
Without It, I could never be the me, you’d seen

Wicked

Old and crooked she glides across
The fairer lands, pen in hand, and
Finds the taller pine tree where she
Scrawled her signature and see’s the

Generations who have grown here too,
Flutes sound in the distance and her
Heart aches to have one more dance
On the stage centered under a million

Stars, it seems too far to hobble on
Three legs so she listens instead to
The waves of laughter rising like balloons
Multi-coloured proof that happiness is still

Nestled among these words, blue birds
Sing praises of her work, she places one
Finger to her lips in an effort to dissuade the
Perks of being recognised, and smiles fondly

At memories walking hand in hand, a marching
Band of highlights of her life, here among the
Tulips there was never any strife, they would
Sit on logs warmed by the fires light and lyrically

It was an impossibility not to fight over meter and
Rhyme simply wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, yet
Still, they would see each other reflected in the
Glass, until she remained there, the last of her kind

Scrawling hasty farewells and tearful goodbyes,
They roast marshmallows, and singe the sides, but
That does nothing to her growing pride, she remembers
Too when they made mistakes, it was never too late to

Rectify, she doesn’t lie to herself as she reaches upwards
And scratches a thin line through the bark, watches as
Her skies fade to dark, but the stars are still out and
The music still plays, soft trickle of notes drum from the

Base, gently she places her quill in the ground, and covers
It with mud and loudly, moving to a one off beat, she
Throws it away and finds her feet, among them once again
And they welcome her readily, her murder of friends

Principle of 9-5

Crowds scurry down busy streets
Stumbling over their own feet chasing
Dreams when reality waits for them at
The office on the corner of 23rd avenue

The time flew and suddenly its day break
They lie awake in the murky thoughts of
Another minute fought against the monotony
Of the computer screen, highlighted with

Images of family, and they fall collectively
Under umbrella terms, challenging sanity,
Staff, what even is that? And no one pipes
Up with a quick fire reply, too tired to even

Try, it takes effort to convince the mind this
Is what life is supposed to be and they are
Trapped with useless degrees and a couple
Of babies they hadn’t wanted so early but

They were handed the manual of living and
Found the alternative too livid to reconcile,
They never smile, and wander under lamp
Light when their spouses sleep asking

Questioning, how did this happen to me?
So here I am, sitting in front of an investigator
Mouth clamped shut, sticky palms, what rocks
The others plans doesn’t affect me, and

Now they seek signatures to run tests on this
Oddity, where did you get your serenity? Hook
Up the machines but all they do is beep in a tone
You cannot and will never understand, take my

Hand and feel my pulse dancing under fingertips,
The quick replies may indicate wit, I will never fit
Into your box of normal, with your bow ties and suits
Much too formal for my liking, I found my way and

Didn’t fight it, the concern in their eyes washes over
Me like tidal waves, heavy and burdened but I am not
Brave for stepping away from conformity, and society,
For burning the manual and celebrating my individuality,

That is something they will never see, but what are you?
They ask, their grips growing tighter, they don’t understand
Why my hope’s so much lighter than theirs, me? Well that’s
Simple, I say, I’m just a writer, who writes, quite comfortably

Conscience

They were of the same litter-the pups.
Identical lumps by their mother’s side,
One smaller in size but their markings
Were the same and they recognised
the subtle differences disguised in one

another, but brothers all the same, playing
tag and chasing each other around the
hourglass day after adventurous day,
and together they matched, in heavy

footedness and fast legs and being strong
enough to break the pace for the new and
exciting place outside of the den. The morning
their mother left she called them men, the word

was lost among the rough and tumble of reality
and instead of chasing each other they chased
their dreams. They remained together, the only
support either really knew, watched stars under

skies so blue they convinced themselves the clouds
wept constantly, that’s why we don’t cry, the brother
said, we have each other, family, the pup agreed and
on they went interweaving these knowledgeable remarks

as they journeyed on, singing songs about brethren like
any brother would, they became warriors, most revered
on the land, struck fear and admiration and made plans
never to be apart, but then it began to start, and one

brother grew hairs of black until he melded with shadows,
there was no going back and pessimism settled on his
shoulders, they grey older, and stood on different ground
but walked the same ways as they promised they would,

where one saw friends the other saw prey and tolerable
levels dwindled away, you are angry and violent, the white
brother said, I cannot journey on with this weight on my head,
his brother bore such a look of surprise when one turned to

the other, hatred came to life, you are cheerful and soft, the
black brother said, you won’t make it alone, you’ll soon be dead,
and they stood in the forest not far from their home, in a standstill
that shook each one to the bone, you moan and groan the white

brother said, you kill nothing and I am rarely fed, the black brother
replied, and in his eyes the white wolf saw no family ties, just
indifference and distant that marked his demise, are you leaving me
the black wolf demanded, as his brother sure footed began to abandon
his pack, come back, he would not and never did, when the black wolf
sought penance, the white wolf still sinned

These Opiates

This. This is it. The part of existence I’m afraid to
Admit lives. The calm before there was any semblance
Of a storm. The first born. Settling nerves and soothing
Dulcet sounds. Noiseless. Weightless. Proud. The silence
Rings in bells. Joyous, granting sense of self and not a single
Word drops. The sentence never confined to full stops. Free
Caught in the hands of sleep, usually. But now-my soul is awake,
As am I, and there is nothing that can break this warmth. Bundled
In a cocoon of nothingness. No movement. No empty promises.
No explanations. It just is. And beautiful, on the precipice of
Oversharing and over caring, of questioning, everything. Yet still

Not
A
Single
Word
Drops

Half lidded eyes, half lidded smiles. I know myself in the quiet more
Then I do in the waves of life. The rocking of me, beyond free, where
My essence breathes. Belief in possibilities emerges from the sea of
Eternity, the doubt. Self-hatred. Bouts of sad-wash away. Smooth sand
Beneath my feet, heartbeat. Beat. Beating, slow. And let go, soft hands
Caress the mind and I find peace here. The wolves still their play and lay
Down side by side. Designated watchers for the sunrise. And the waiting
Storm. Surprise moulds their faces as they recognise the signs. Howling
In anticipation but I remain blind. This stupor of clear contentment
Chugging through my veins. A drug induced haze of glass. Pretty to look
At but never designed to last. The wolves, they grab me, taking me back
To sanity. And then. Then I was never the same. My soul bobs on a shoreline Too far away. And still, to this day, I reach for that moment when

Not
A
Single
Word
Dropped
.

A Conversation: Darren Scanlon

Sunlight was only created to fade
With the waxing moon o’er a winters glade
Counting the concrete steps, we made
To the water’s edge where the Heron’s wade
In a constraint of time, worn and frayed
And the pendulum swings though heavily laid
As we harsh the trials of this crusade
Baying for blood with the glint of the blade
Sharpened and deadly like mistakes that we made
A heavy reckoning and price to be paid
Cut the memories down and offer as trade
On the scales of justice, so heavily weighed
Down with regret and bundles of nightshade
Dining on death with a glass of dismay
Counting this moment of life on replay
As we watch them serve up a haunting entree
With skeletal hands and hearts made of clay
Til the dawn brings relief in the warm of the day
And the chorus of light hums on the way
Shedding our dread as the feast fades to grey
the hues of this earth spring up to play
and the Herons return to their bountiful bay
unaware of judgement that watches and stays
till the dark and the deep come to fight the new day
and the warriors defend the beautiful prey
united in duty and the part they must play
and we, once brethren, step forwards to slay
all those who would take our daylight away
let the Herons fly East as we battle and pray
for the sun and the moon and the cold light of day
and on their return these lands we reclaim
for the life of the children, the eternal flame,
to pass down for centuries name by name
a legacy of life that will always remain.

 

 

A Conversation by leannepoetry and Darren Scanlon