The Moon

Moonlight warps perception
creating waves with the stars
so they don’t seem so far away
and dreams can flourish readily
I collect scrap paper and steadily

rearrange the lines, binds created
from wishful thinking and echoed by
moonlight across these streets, the
beat of the drum loud and unforgiving
reality is sinking in and time is passing

through the din-the silence sounds-and
passages weave-the doors to the land of
make believe lie open and inviting words
whisper from threshold to plain, my name
etched on doorknob and key in my hand,

the band of identity sinking in the sands
of times, hands reaching from shadows their
fleshly tones highlighted still by moonlight
and I rest my soul on window sill for one

last glance at the rocketing stars, knowing
once morning comes these ghostly secrets will
be lost, the world ends in fire and begin in
ice, day in, day out, for the rest of my life
I walk barefoot in moonlight.

The Hangmans Note

I am terrified and there
Is no safety in my home,
My bones are quaking but
The fear is silent, lying under

The dulcet tones of the television
My mind casts me into a revision
Of kinds, all the things there is
To lose come morning light, I

Have crawled day in and day
Out hoping for the freedom
That only a thin veiled envelope
Can address, there is no rest

Tonight. Every time I close my eyes
Demons stalk from darkened
Shadows, I am afraid to know
The contents of the post, all

The waiting devoted to this
Moment, sometimes I think
I would rather die, sleep peacefully
Under God drawn stars and never

Have to face the odds again, I
Am tired, I am frightened, and
There is no love in my mothers
Arms, there is no love in my

Mothers heart, my carer is me,
And has been for centuries, but
Even I know this is something I
Cannot cure, and behind that

Door lies the truth. Brutal. Served
Up on a punchline either stealing
Or receiving pride, it is everything
And exaggeration is not the aim

Of this game, its plain bold true,
Letters making words, words
Making sentences, sentences
Having the power to destroy

Every foundation I’ve scavenged,
And as for me? I am a corporal
Form, curled up under my bed
The only place I could get to

Before the mortars fell from
The sky, the thing about the
Future is its not defined, and
I would lie here forever if I

Could but like kitten under car
Hood the exhausts would drive
Me away, I was born with the
Poisons in my bloodstream, a

New kind of disease I had never
Of heard of, I am the experiment
And there is no control, I have no
Control. Cauldron boil and

Bubble, each day is the same,
Save for tomorrow, tomorrow
Brings relief or tomorrow brings
Pain, so I load my gun and sit in

The porch with a childhood torch
Grasped in my hands, tomorrow
Will bring silence, or a low muffled
BANG!

Weariness Walks these bones

Daylight sounds the alarm,

The world is moving but I
Am not yet ready for this,
Clenched fists and battered
Teeth, on the precipice I walk
Between awake and asleep,
Wishing floorboards were

Made of mattress and sinking
Ships would leave my chest,
There’s no rest for the wicked
But I am not, I have been told
By strangers these better truths
But strangers are all they are,

Blue moon stares at wide eyes
Counting seconds until the sunrise
I scream in darkness as to not
Interrupt the light, mulling over
The long hauled fight to the surface
Of consciousness they tell me I

Have to get up, bones like a graveyard
Rattle in resistance, I have had enough,
Broken heart and mind these covers
Blind reality, shield me from further
Harm, ripped away, always ripped away,
I’m tripping over yesterday and the

Realisation that every day is yesterday
I want to sink like a puddle and hide
Behind the reflection of myself, just
For a while, I plead, for a while, but
No heed is taken in my circumstance
Instead I am forced to walk these lands,

Haphazardly in the chaos of my own
Mind, not one person gives me the
Time to readjust, I must fulfill the needs

Of a society, even if it kills me.

The Dance

Every now and then fear
Taps me on the shoulder
And we begin the dance
Across stage, bad days

Mould into one and I’m
Trading souls for some
Peace of mind, mine was
Stolen when fear found me

The first time, a long time
Nemesis, I’ve studied genesis
But it doesn’t explain the aim
Of this game, the to and fro of

The saw, skin rubbed raw and
Droplets of blood marking our
Trail, the number of times I’ve
Wanted to bail out surmount

The number of times I’ve tried
Because fear catches me in its
Arms and I fail to get away, it
Draws me in close-a calculated

Play, leaping and jumping and
Spinning, it’s winning, it always
Wins, our hands glued together
And feet nailed to the floor, every

Door I’ve ever seen slowly begins
To dissipate, my mistake, I thought
I would escape and the dance is
Endless, it’s breath is on my throat,

A ballad is devoted to my name,
I’m going insane trapped in these
Walls, these recital halls and the
Curtain never closes, never has,

In all of my time here, feet numb
And body stiff, the numerous lifts
In the wake of an empty crowd,
There is no sound, only the scuffle

Of fear and I, the battle of wills
A fight to survive.

This House

This house is old and

Hidden bones lie under
Floorboards, remnants
Of ghosts asking to be let
Free, the fire burned their
Flesh and left them with
Wounds so severe they prove

Incapable of moving themselves,
Shells of past lives whispering like
Shadows in the dark, trees without
Bark swaying in the harsher gales,
Last sales were made fleetingly
The lease a long handed scrawl,

Still they crawl to the surface and
I hopscotch these rooms, waiting
For the moment the new residents
Arrive, wide eyes watch as we come
And go, the trinity of ghosts paving
Trails like crumbs, echoing laughter

Like spreading fun thin on broken
Children, the villain lies with them
Too, his skin black and blue from
Revenge, around each bend are
Warnings carved into paintings
Mounted on the walls, my portrait,

The least damaged of them all, yet
Still, they call to me on the landline
Phone and whisper pleasantries like
Its normal. All I want to do is escape,
So I map my way with the moving
Van and get out of that house, as

Fast as I can.

Life Happened

Somewhere down the line
Life changed, we aged and
Past mistakes became cringe
Worthy memories, the serenity

Of youth paved the way for a
New kind of experience, the
Discovery of our existence, the
Existence of man, and holding

Hands is more of a ritual than
Rumours, tumours grow and
Shrink and sometimes being
Brought to the brink doesn’t

Mean certain death, just worse
Moments in the history of your
Life, pain and strife, the monsters
Of old walk side by side and boldly

Go where no man has gone before
Jarred doors are best left locked
And there’s no point watching
The arms of the clock, they turn

Too quickly, for anyone to see,
Self-belief blossoms like flowers
In the spring and funeral bells
Ring, sounding the gathering of

Faces mere strangers over the
Years bonded by tears and grief,
Another worse moment to defeat
Perspective sneaks up week after

Week until the rocking chairs begin
To creak and somewhere down
The line we grew old, like a gun
Not yet fired, one shot shapes

The mould.

Blood-ties

Our blood is unique, the
Way we speak and old
Memories aligning for us
To reminisce, we were

Blessed to be born within
Mere years, share lessons
And tears and screaming
Fights, the ‘buts’, ‘ifs’, ‘maybes’

Might cross lines but everything
Is forgiven in time, born of the
Same mother we wouldn’t
Trade another for the sun

And together we dance under
The lights of the moon, adulthood
Comes to soon and visits are like
Stepping stones, jagged and

Interrupted, clutching onto
Hours once cupped in our tiny
Hands, sandcastles get washed
Away by the shoreline we stand

A row of well-fed misfits, sunscreen
And dipping toes to whiter seas,
Goodbyes crossing lips too easily
But you will always be family.