I was once a sailor

An inflatable balloon sat on my chest,
Decorated in sprinkles and frosting, it
Finally popped with words slicing the
Edges like knives dagger hearts, the

Words of the past brought like a package
And amongst the wreckage of sunken ships
Sat you, an animal painted blue with sadness
That permeates your veins, the moment I

Realised a mirror lay by sunken ship my guise
As explorer became prisoner and this is the curse
Of all great adventures, maps and needles cannot
Steer pain and a boat this size will always sink,

Bought to the brink of insanity and back again
Like waves in an ocean fragile and foam, from
These bones a fire arose and a phoenix sang the
Life from the sea, and you were freed, but it was
Too little too late and birthday cakes don’t taste
The same anymore.

Lady Marina

I put pleas in poetry
Hoping someone will
Rescue me, there are no
Sailboats on the horizon and

The shoreline is still the same,
I’m going insane, trapped out on
An island alone, waving a white flag
Of surrender, I get it, I’m irrelevant,

The world has 7 billion other people
To worry about and there aren’t enough
Row boats for every single one, but just
Once turn on the lighthouse candle and let

Me see an end to this darkness, it stretches
For miles and I’d think I was blind if not for
Speckles of stars in the sky, but they’re too
High. Unreachable. And I’m a little wave in

A large ocean of life and sometimes I forget
When there’s a still and this place grows quiet,
And I grow old, and now an old women stares
Back at me with eyes of youth and the soul of
The sea.

About: Me

I don’t know when I stopped
Wanting life, but I know where
It ended, the end of a glorious
Summer down by the lake, I

Counted mistakes made in my
Insignificant existence, my fingernails
Picked to pieces and my heart on
The shore I didn’t leave clues by

Your doors, under carpets or in
Houses, because we all know what
Drove me to this and I was never the
Driver, my backseat soul just couldn’t

Take the weaves and turns, the stomach
Flips and endless burns from the stereo
Exclaiming everything that was yet to
Come, I’ve taken every pill and felt the

Numb spread across my chest, like the
Seatbelt on impact, I was never blessed
By happiness, a foreign person in a golf
Cart in the middle of an ocean, and now

I’m the ocean, a lonely corpse floating
Towards the metal frame and steering
wheel, and at least this time I get to drive,
and I’ll drive behind hearse and crowds of

people who feel obliged because of some
sort of familial obligation, there will be
questions and many of which my sewed lips
cannot grant answers to, but watch out

because this was not done to you, this
was done to me and my choice shouldn’t
breed blame or rock beliefs, I was a person
once, now I am nothing, but you still breathe.

Thorns

I like the colour red
The way it drips on rose
Petals but I don’t like roses,
Blue used to be my favourite

Colour but one time I stared at
The ocean too long, I’m indifferent
About green, everything is green,
Green just is. I like the beach and

The way the waves crash against the
Shore but I don’t like surfing or boats,
I used to run out into the tide but my
Shoes are on my feet, I don’t like the

Grain between my toes. I used to be
On the swim team until they told me
There is no ‘I’ in team, I thought that
Meant there was no place for me anymore

I don’t like thunderstorms but I like how
Lightning flashes across the sky, I used to
Watch horror movies but dad got rid of
Them like he got rid of mom, we had a

Trampoline and I used to jump very high,
Now I don’t jump anymore. I like the way
The alarm sounds in the morning but I
Dropped it and it stopped working, my friends

Bought me lollipops for my birthday but I
Don’t like them, the way I don’t like roses.