Relapse

It’s happening again. What they
Call relapse, relax and take a chill
Pill, I took the whole bottle and
Opiates slide down my blood stream
Like unwelcome guests in my home
Who leave wine stains on the carpets

And hijack bone marrow, sparrows
Pecking at my windows like pebbles
Knocking on my roof, these foundations
Sinking are all the proof that I need,
Proof, that it’s happening again, I would
Tell my friends but I yelled bloody murder

Too many times before, I make jokes about
Sleeping until three because I don’t know
What to do anymore and I didn’t think my
Heart would be physically sore from all
The beating, I’m reading Wikipedia because
Everything I’ve come to lean on is unreliable,

Survival is not a preservation instinct ingrained
In my being I’m seeing double and I’m pretty
Sure foam from the bath is spilling onto my
Floor, someone call the doctor, I can’t feel
My hands sliding across door handles, I
Can’t get a grip, get a grip. Just get a fucking

Grip, I slip and swings were fun when I was
Young but it’s out of control and I am done,
The only way off is to jump but everyone’s
Telling me don’t jump. Just show up. Screw
You. I’m still on the swings, feet grazing the

Ground the sound of sirens in the distance
It’s utter bliss and then nothingness. The
Chain snapped and I fell, I don’t know what
To tell you. That’s why they call it relapse.

 

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