Let go and let Live

I am angry at white coated men
And identification numbers, of
Mispronounced names after
Several dates, suffice to say they
Never pay for dinner, the price
For my head soaring well over
Two grand with value added
Each time they call out my name
Of course they would decide to
Bring me back again and again

until I am the most valuable
science Experiment in the world,
my name spelled out in digits on
their forms and I am tired of the
constant reiteration of what exactly
is wrong, I’d write a song if I wasn’t
running out of words, and self-worth,
shame clings to me like their hospital
gowns, remorse scuttles at my feet
my constant companion in the weeks

and months and years, they catch my
tears in vials and put them on show
until they know I’ve caught on to
their games, my sponsors still wound
tight in their clever hands, while I’ve
squirmed free they’re caught in the
fence until they’re past tense and
this future walk is one I’m undertaking
alone, struggling to find home so I
can curl up with my favourite stuffed

animal and allow the vulnerability
to wash down this shallow skin,
until I am reborn again, the essence
of my name nestled on this lips
poisoned with drugs and remedies,
until I don’t know who I am anymore,
and there are demons knocking down
my door and diagnosing me with a
different kind of wrongness to my
bones, a sadness that’s clinging and

won’t let go, so I do…
I just let go.


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