Constellation

I hear murmured voices
Down the tunnel of life
Mother and child discussing
The finer things to living, quality

And identity, her mother is my
Mother, the barer of my life yet
She has never stricken the match
To one of these conversations in

My presence, I am valued for my
Position, the third in line, the one
To inherit lineage when there is
No one left to share it with, I am

Valued for my value and never for
My words, my destiny was never
Written in the stars and meddling
With fate, I knew, came with great

Consequence so when I made that
Decision to write my name in the
Stars I should have taken evidence
Of my unscarred body before it

Inevitably fell apart, and every
Time I raise my voice it is lost in
The motion of this home, siblings
Dropping loads as they come and

Go and I, I pick them up and hoist
Them high over my shoulder so that
God might see I am trying to take
Knowledge from their experience

And grant me some of my own, it
Is years before I discovery God does
Not exist and was merely the well
Wishing of the afraid, now I am

Godless and afraid, I’d rather have
My faith as a safety net then be free
Falling, spiraling towards the inevitability
Death, as a child I was always terrified

He would scoop me up in his arms
When I wasn’t looking, now I know
His true torture is watching these
Conversations, hearing the speeches

And having contribution skyrocketed
On fireworks, a single thought before
Dissipating into the sky, striking down
My lonely star.

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2 thoughts on “Constellation

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