Paint Me

Paint the memories in my head
So I won’t forget what it feels like
To be happy, the laughter catching on
The breeze and dancing in the sun, I’m
The only one who can’t see it anymore
Hopes and dreams have dashed my sight
In their downfall and tonight is another
Reflection on everything I have given up,
My heart, my soul, my life, all handed on a
Silver platter but no gods were appeased and
Instead they punished me, allowing me to
Hold my existence in my hands yet never draw
It close, I am tired of the run, the constant drum
Of feet on this ‘journey’ shouting and screaming
For something to kill me so I’d have a good enough
Excuse to lie in the dark for the rest of eternity,
And paint the sunset, the curtains have been drawn
Too long for me to remember it, and paint my friends,
By my side instead of miles away having the time of
Their lives in my absence, this abyss is only growing
Stronger and fondness dwindles and dies, I am not
Surprised that my efforts have surmounted to pain
I have worked like a machine and there is no one to
Blame for being born irregular, though I wish I’d
Never been born at all, that the blood pumping through
My veins wasn’t a poison, and paint orange and yellow
Hues, colours of happiness I’m not used to them anymore,
I forget the shade and tone, there’s only blue and blue alone
Makes me sea sick, the brink of insanity has cracked and
Crumbled and down the rabbit hole I tumbled but there’s
No guide to this monstrosity, only monsters and demons
Tearing parts of me and devouring them whole, paint home
The smell of lavender from the garden and the stillness of
The trees, the cat stretched alongside the bustling bumblebees
But most of all can you paint me, please, and when you paint
Me, paint me happy

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