Rubber Gloves

Why are you here, they ask?

As if I’ve suddenly thought of the answer
When I’ve barely had the chance to process
The words being shredded in my fragile mind
They’ve taken the pencils so I can’t write and

I’ve never been good with speaking, these words-
Giving them flesh seems wrong when they’ve
Already conquered everything for so long
How can I express my needs when my knees won’t

Stop shaking long enough to hold this trembling frame
And silence becomes the aim of the game until they’re
Sticking fingers down my throat trying to get me to
Regurgitate the right information for their clipboards

X rays of organs and ripping more sticky monitoring pads
From my skin leaving bright red circles with no beginning
Or end, if they open the dam this flood will bring everything
To the surface, years of buried feelings and anger so strong

I left it in a steel ridged box never to opened again, they
Don’t understand this, and they prod and nudge until I’m
Losing blood by the bucketful’s and it’s dripping to the tiles
Below, a mess for the cleaners later that night,

My ribs are like a xylophone, as they tap their instruments
To the bone, shave my head and split my skull until the
Secrets run like black gel framing my face, all I want
Is to get out of this place but my hands are bound in wire

Connected to every kind of machine, breathing the life out
Of me and my system is swaying under the influence of every
Drug, if only they’d give back my notebook, I could detail it all
Without whispering the truth into the air, they tear at my heart

Play it’s strings and it stings so badly when they add alcohol,
To sterilize the thing that carries this disease, and they put
Me on a list, one where people have similar needs as mine, no
Matter how much I plea just to let me die

And they taped me to a bed in the corner of the room
Alone, as the mould drips down from the walls, eventually the
Doctor comes, in his hands a cattle gun and now my heart is not
The only body part perforated, bloody and vulnerable

I bleed the answer all over their rubber gloves.


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